Winter (Sunghoon x Issha)

IT WAS A COLD DECEMBER when he felt the chill of your heart crippling him where he stood. The fond sparkle in your eyes was gone and all he could see was frustration when his presence was near. He didn't know winter was going to come so early. He wasn't ready to try to save all the flowers you both planted in the garden of your love from the bitter, icy death they would have experienced. One-by-one, they would freeze until they wilted and died. He felt fear, his hands grasping yours tighly each time he had a chance because he could feel you slowly pulling away as your eyes started straying from him-since when? Since when did your eyes look around for someone new when he was right in front of you? Since when did he stop being the apple of your eyes?

All these questions are bugging him and making his nights restless. However, can his soul rest when the image of your love is draining from him? He doesn't even know how to put his emotions into words or how to face you about yours, even though he prides himself on being the honest one. It then became stab wounds after each fight, each cold shoulder, and each smile you lost when you saw him-all of it stabbed him repeatedly until he couldn't breathe anymore. The same love that gave him the same magic to feel like he was flying was dying and gravity was catching up to him. From the pretty highs he got from every touch of your skin and your lips to the hallow pain of every fight, all of it was what made him feel so alive because he thought it was love. He thought what you both felt was love, because if it wasn't then, what was everything for? He is a man of long-term goals, after all. He already had you fit into his future. The mold was created in your shape as his girlfriend, then his fiancé, and eventually his wife, but you had other plans. You plan to leave him. After arriving at that conclusion, all he wanted was to sink to his knees in front of you and beg. The great Park Sunghoon would beg for you. His ice walls melted to the ground, leaving puddles of tears when you weren't on the other side, just as he expected.

He watches you from afar now just to see that smile again, to see his sun shine again because somewhere along the way, he lost you to the moon. He was a star, ever so brightly shining just like you, and he thought that'd be enough and that there was no way that a moon so different from you both would snatch you away right under his nose. When people asked him how he was feeling after your inevitable goodbye, he couldn't tell them that he was drowning without you. Self-medicating every night to force himself to sleep without you because the dent you left on your side of his bed haunts him even in his dreams. Even his own mind seems to want to kill him repeatedly, as his nightmares consist of you letting go of his hands and turning your back to him once again, going to the moon, and there he would be left alone yet again, screaming on the top of his lungs for you to come back. Waking up from these nightmares was worst because there was that irrational hope that you would be there beside him, where you belong, telling him that it was just a nightmare-everything was a nightmare. Now his days weren't getting any better because your image haunted him in every corner he turned, every rhyme and melody is only your memory, and that café seat you both reserved and branded as yours now sat alone staring at the empty chair in front of him.eating him inside, he couldn't help but think of the what ifs he shouldn't be wondering about. 

What if, in another universe, you were his? What if you never left, or what if you never fell out of love, never opened your eyes to wander out of the Eden you both built? He even got as far as being alright with you loving someone else, with sharing you with someone else, if that meant he could still have a piece of you, even just a bit. Why is the universe cursing him to be damned in a world where he couldn't hold you close on cold December nights? Why couldn't he be the reason for your laughter ringing in the air anymore? People around him told him that maybe in the next afterlife, the two of you will meet again and be together, but he doesn't have the patience to wait for another lifetime. His soul felt as though it had been frozen in a forever tundra without you, as if it had awaited your arrival and was anticipating your footsteps out the doors. All the promises you both whispered to the wind, sealed with kisses under the guise of false security, made his guard down, leaving him defenseless and vulnerable to all the icicles digging into his chest-he didn't expect you to dig it further in with your dismissive nods when your eyes both met in a crowd. During these times, he chants in his mind, "In another life you will be mine." In another life, in another love, when our tears have not been used up, when your heart is only his for the taking, In other words, he will be the only one.