Ruin My Life (Badboy! Johhny x Issha)

"Where were you?" you said as you saw him finally enter the room, the hands of the wall clock shows the current time - 3:30 am. 

"I didn't know we started policing each other" he replied, rolling his eyes as he starts to remove his jacket. Your eyes caught the blotches of red on his neck with the scratch marks he has on his back. That wasn't yours you know it wasn't yours because you always made sure they would bleed, like your own sadistic way of reminding him who he belongs to, who can love him like this. This was the third time this week, on the week of your birthday? How fucking fun. 

"Oh sorry, let me just also go to frat parties and fuck men who throw themselves to me" you said as you went to the room you both shared. 

"What now? Can't you stop picking fights with me? I didn't even do anything wrong" he sounded exasperated but still followed you, stumbling from the drunkenness that still fogs your mind. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? What was that on your neck then, huh? What bit you this time? A bee, an ant, or maybe a dog? Probably a dog, fucking bitch nibbled in your neck, huh? For the third time this week!" you started packing your essential things in a duffle bag. He stood there for a few minutes acting dumb before he saw his neck on the mirror in front of the bed, there it was - blotches of bruising skin can be seen all around. He tried to think of an excuse like the dumb man he was but couldn't come up with anything until you were done packing everything hurriedly and was slipping away from him to leave. 

"Baby, let's talk about this, please. Calm down and talk to me" he said, trying to quickly stop you from reaching the front door. 

"Fuck you Johnny Suh, you are the worst thing that ever happened to me" were your last words as you closed the door behind you, almost running to get away from him. 

"You don't mean that. I know you don't. You told me I was the best you ever had, yeah you'll come back, you always do" he whispered to himself. 

Big reputation, the both of you have big reputations, but his was worse than yours. A player senior going for a man-eater sophomore? Now that's what we call a match made in heaven, alright. It started with the flirty double looks, jealous games, until it got to cool offs, ending up with one of you having their tongue on someone else and the other unknowingly left broken inside.  From the short replies to deep conversations under the moonlight in the middle of nowhere you both called as "your place" there was no middle ground with the both of you. How did this started? Well, it's simple really with the both of you sharing a class together - art history which was weird for him as a music major, but he claimed it was for "special credit" but he never really tried much in class only to pass with flying colors (which is something that pissed you off). Although out of the both of you sharing the class all he ever really did was try to get your attention, which he did the moment you first saw him entering the room but did he doesn't need to know that now does he? 

The semester passed with him trying to get you with him and you playing him like a fiddle between your fingers until the final project bought the both of you together - the day where both defenses and logical reasoning has been thrown to the wind. It all started with him, as usual, sitting beside you but he, however, was unusually quiet. The silence ring louder in the lecture room as the students slowly trickle in, all aware of how the man beside you has only stared at you this whole time. 

"Can I help you Suh?" you asked back then, tone as irritated as it was before 

"Yes you can, actually. Who was that man with you earlier, darling?" his gaze and tone matching yours. 

"What man? The one who escorted me here?" it was bizarre of him to be talking to you in the same tone as you always have, you decided you liked this side of him better than the others he has shown you in that room and outside under the moons. 

"Yes princess. Who is he and why was he with you?" irked with the seeming innocent game you were playing, he doesn't seem to have the patience today for your little games. But you do. 

"What is it to you Suh? I don't have to report anything to you." chills of excitement ran down your spine as you anticipated his reply. 

"Don't test me brat. Who was it?" he was becoming increasingly aggravated and you can tell from the way his grip on his desk tighten. 

"It's none of your business Suh. Stop calling me weird shit." you had to admit, he was starting to get in your nerves, which you found both annoying and arousing. 

His reply never came after, the door opening to welcome your tired Economics professor, who became more exasperated as he laid eyes on the man beside you. The whole lecture, he didn't stop watching you like the creep that he was and no one questioned it - which was not surprising. 

"Alright, before I dismiss the class let me remind all of you that the pairs for this semester's final project is pasted in the class group page as well as the bulletin board outside this room. Do well and e-mail me for any concers. Class dismissed." were your professor's final words before they drag themselves outside just like everybody. You were one of the first one to stand up and leave like always but this time, you were being tailed by this persistent man who stopped with you as you reached the bulletin board and there it was Quinto - Suh. 

"You're stuck with me baby. Answer my questions earlier and I promise to be in my best behavior" he was smug this time knowing the gravety of the project and you're urge to remain perfect will be in his advantage. 

"Fuck you Suh. He was Hendery, my classmate in Marketing and he offered to walk me to my next class. There, happy?" you said knowing he would truly follow through his words. 

"Very baby girl. Very" he was, of course very happy that he can now hunt the man that he views as an obstacle for you to be his. 

True to his words, he did behaved quite well - which was a an extremely rare moment that of course came with a price at the end of the project as you finished and passed it early in class. That's how you ended up with your pants on the floor, bent on the teacher's table with his cock filling you so much you swear you can feel him so deep he is re-arranging your guts. Filthy noises from you, him and your bodies intertwining echoed through the room, every slosh from your wet pussy is making him crazy with the screams of his name in your lips - just like that everything was worth it for him. That little endeavor was not a one time thing, he made sure you knew that in ever thrust of his hips and word he whispered to you as if casting a spell over you. 

He did cast a spell to you, you came into this conclusion because of how addicted you were with his everything. After that day, nothing was ever the same for the both of you - acting like lovers bickering, touching like ownership was being renewed every minute, almost as if love was in the air. You thought it was a start of something you've always been craving as you thought of him as nobody's but yours but he seems to have a different idea. Yes, he does own you but somehow you don't own him which wasn't that obvious at first. He played the bad-boy-redemption-for-love role so good you didn't even think he was fucking someone else behind you in the times you worry for him late at night. When you did found out however, you didn't react the way he thought you would which was maybe cry, leave or curse him to death because even though you cursed him you stayed but you made sure to give him a taste of his own medicine. 

It became a habit, a routine for the both of you. A cycle of over encompassing love and lust, violent verbal fights, cold shoulders, fucking strangers, going back to each other. It took a toll on you, you felt more than you showed after all and you feel yourself fall back on old habits. Keeping all of your emotions in and only showing anger, ghosting everybody but Johnny and some new ones like how now every time he hurt you so bad, you go and sleep in someone else's bed in order to make him feel as worst as you do. You knew it wasn't healthy, you knew it was wrecking you inside but the irrational part of your brain told you of how he held you so tight at night as you both slept under the covers, how he looks at you as if you are the most important thing in his life, how he never forgets an important event, how his kisses drown you, how his arms warm you - all of him, even the ugly was all drenched in red, your favourite color of lenses ever since you met him. 

Love however, always end. Soon his arms didn't feel like comfort instead they felt like a cage, his lips failed to give you the serenity it used to like a siren now drowning you under the waters as you trashed and feel your lungs burn painfully, his eyes stray too long in spaces where you did not occupy, his presence was missing in seats he should've occupied - all of him, even his beauty aged like milk and in your tongue it starting to taste stale. The sweet taste making you crave for more is turning sour, the air was freezing your heart again, but you know you'd still comeback to him. 

So here you are at a pub, drowning your sorrows at 3 am of January 8th - your supposed first birthday with your someone but he never belonged to you, that he was the one. You know that now but the bitter taste of tequilla and vodka with an after taste of broken promises and mistaken identity stayed in your mouth. You downed one shot after the other, opting to try and have "fun" with the menu in the pub as you try every alcohol there was. No amount of concern from the bartender or from the people blowing up your phone, or the ones around you could make you stop drinking. You chose to intoxicate yourself this time to something else other than that man who kept you like a circus act, parading you in front of people who would've loved you better, treated you better, held you better. You will drown today not in your tears or in his eyes but in the waves of ignorance you chose because you know that tomorrow, you'd choose him again and again just like before even as your responses start to dull, your body grew cold, and your vision fading, your heart will slowly beat for him still. 

WHAT WOKE YOU UP was the annoying beeping on your side. The harsh scent of antiseptics wafted through the chilling air, the white ceiling welcoming you in the land of the living. You let your blurred vision take in where you might be slowly until you heard a familiar voice. 

"'NAK?! YOU'RE AWAKE! WHERE'S THE DOCTOR?! MY DAUGHTER IS AWAKE! TAKE GOD" relief was heard from her voice, your mother's voice. 

Why was your mother here? You felt shame cripple you slowly as reality comes crashing down to you. You almost died, well at least you felt like you almost did, and almost left this woman who loves you with her entire being. How long has she been here holding your hand and waiting for you to wake up? What happened to you back there at the pub? What happened to you, her star, her baby girl? 

"Oh what a relief. It's good your awake Ms. Quinto, let me take your vitals. You were very lucky that you were taken to the hospital just in time, if you were any later..." the doctor that arrived trailed off his sentence. You knew what would've happened. You could've died. You could've left your mother alone.

" 'Nak, don't scare mama like that again please. I don't know what I would do without you, talk to me please. Don't shut me out, tell mama what happened please" there were tears falling down from her face. She was scared, here tight grip on your hand was the only evidence you need. 

"I'm sorry mama. I, I was just" you stuttered, not knowing how to form the words. How can you tell your mother the man who made you smile the brightest, the one she considers as a son in law almost drove you to the brink of death? 

"Don't force yourself anak, here drink some water" she said as she offers you the bottle of water with a straw attached to it. It was silent as you drink with her only staring at you, like it was a dream you truly were awake. 

"Tita! The nurse said Issha is awake daw po?! I came as soon as I heard" oh. That voice, you looked at the foot of your bed and there she was, your best friend since 10th grade - the one you've been pushing away because of Johnny. 

"Yes 'nak, she just woke up actually." your mother couldn't look at anybody, tears of relief still going down her face.

"Issha....I know you probably don't want me here but uhm, I had to check on you kasi the last time I didn't we almost lost you" she was chocking on her words, sobs echoing the room as all of you cried in relief, regret, and sadness. 

"Thank you 'nak, thank you for listening to me and going after issha still" she said reaching out to the woman who still hasn't left the door. 

"Thank you for convincing me po tita, thank God we were on time" she slowly went closer to the both of you and gave your mother a quick hug. 

"What about me? I almost died and I still don't get a hug? Not very cash money of you" you joked with outstretched arms. 

The hesitance in her eyes melted and she carefully wrapped her arms around you as you both continue to sob. This was what you missed because of you let that man blind you to him, your best friend who tried her best to steer you away from harm, your mother that supported you no matter what, and your life that almost ended because you decided to make him the center of your universe. The sob fest continued for at least ten more minutes before hushed conversations reigned in the room. A knock disrupted you all as a figure of a tall man enter the room, at first you tensed until you saw it was Nakamoto Yuta - your best friends boyfriend and your kuya figure. 

His face was neutral but you can see the storm brewing in his eyes. He has always been a protective person to the people he let in his heart, you reminded him of the little sister he left in Japan and thus he seees you now as his younger sibling - adding the fact that he knows just how much you meant to the woman he loved, it hurt him to see you like this. The loud mouthed, no-nonsense, confident, and gorgeous woman he met was reduced into a pale whittering shell. As he walked in, he made sure to shield the commotion outside - you don't need that extra stress, he'd take care of it. 

"Glad to see you're finally awake, you took your time. Almost had us all worried to death." he said as he took a seat beside his woman. He hesitated to hold her hand however, he can see from the look he received from her that she also isn't sure and doesn't want to trigger anything from you so he settles in just sitting beside her. 

"Yeah, about that, what happened kuya? Like everything? I just woke up and the last thing I remembered was I was in the pub. The doctor didn't really tell us anything, Ma" you asked, confused with everything after your emotions have settled. 

"You almost drank yourself to death. Alcohol poisoning according to the doctor, you've been out for a week" Yuta broke the news to you as her girl friend groaned and slap his arm, the couple offering an apologetic look to your mother. 

"A week?!" bewildered you asked. 

"That's right 'nak. I was called to the E.R last week about 4:30 am by Emeri, she was crying telling me that you were found unconcious in the pub you frequented. I knelt down the chapel here in the hospital when they said you could be in a coma if you didn't wake up after a week. Thank God you did" your mother kissed your hand and held it tighter to her.

"How are you all?" your eyes was immediately everywhere but the people you were talking to. 

"We, uh, we're better now that you're awake. Don't worry about us and just focus on recovering." your best friend said as her boyfriend rolled his eyes beside her. 

"Are you really asking about us or about him" it was obvious from the venom in his voice. He read right through you it seems. 

"Yuta, please. She's obviously asking about only us, right issha?" maybe she was trying to salvage the situation by playing dumb but you know you she saw right through you too. It was all for the sake of you and your mother whose tears stopped at the mention of someone else other than your little circle. 

You didn't answer her and everyone knew that wasn't just what you meant. You watch as their expressions became sullen. The tension was heavy in the room until a familiar voice rang through the outside of your door. 

"Where's Emeri?! Her classmate said she was here in the hospital, I just need to talk to her." said the familiar rough voice that made your heart ache. 

"I'll go. He's looking for me anyways." the owner of the name then went stood up and went to the door, followed by her boyfriend who of course won't leave him alone. 

"If he still tries to force you 'nak, text me. Ako bahala" the maternal figure's tone was hard, it was obvious she was in her protect mode. 

The two then nodded and went out the door. You couldn't look at the woman beside you as she slowly stroked the back of your hand. 

"You still love him after everything 'nak?" she said, smiling sadly 

"I, I do ma but I know he isn't good for me. I almost left you alone and I'm so sorry ma" you could barely sob the words to her as guilt nailed the last nail in your lover's coffin. You knew the love you had for the very man outside your door was overflowing and still is but this time, your eyes opened to the things you've left and almost did for him - including your mother. 

"YOU CAN'T STOP ME NAKAMOTO! MOVE!" the booming voice was then followed by the opening of your hospital door. He pales when his eyes saw you there, lying there and looking as pale as the sheets of the bed. He took slow steps to you, his eyes never leaving your only to be stopped by your mother's firm figure in the foot of your bed. She effectively broke his gaze from you as she stood and hid you from his vision. 

"Tita...." he started to address her until her palm smacked him in his face, the harsh slap he receieved left a bruising pain. 

"Don't you dare call me tita you ungrateful man. I trusted you with my daughter, I was rooting for the both of you, for your love for her but what did you do in return?! Because of you, I almost lost her!" she might've looked physically smaller than Johnny in front of her but her stance was straight, looking at him with a piercing glare. 

He couldn't speak nor breathe really, he thought it was just a minor thing because of you skipping your meals and so he barged in with hopes of catching you in his angry concern for going missing for almost a week after you walked away from him. He didn't know it was this big, he didn't know anything. 

"Ma'am, please, what happened? What do you mean you almost lost her?" he said in a desperate voice. 

"Sorry po tita, we couldn't hold him back until security came. They are on their way po tita don't worry." your best friend said behind his boyfriend who made himself a barricade between you and the grief stricken man. 

"Emeri, what happened? Why didn't you say anything?!" he turned around to face her but he was met with the barrier. 

"You wanna know Suh? You drove her to this, This was because of you. She almost fucking died of alcohol poisoning you know? On her fucking birthday at that." as those words were spitted out in his face, the man's knees crumbled as he knelt in front of your mother. 

He was weakend, the mere thought of your life almost ending because of the stupidity he has done. It cost him you, the only love of his life. He tried to come up with words but his story with you ended. As the doors opened and the guards has pulled him to his feet, he took one last glance at you and you to him. Broken pieces bleeding in the pristine white marble of the room.