Only for you

  

Johnny Suh is not a softie-that much is known to him by his aquaintances and the general public, but then again, they don't know him that much, yet there he is melting you with his gaze. That gaze that should be up above the both of you as millions of stars seem to gather tonight for the both of you. There was silence filling the air with the tension brought by his stare, as if he was itching to tell you something, and normally, being a straight-forward person, he would, of course, tell you face-to-face with no hesitation in his voice. But as he sat with you under the stars in the little picnic blanket he laid down on your impromptu date at 2 a.m., he was at a loss for words as to how he ended up there holding your hand while you rant about how astrology actually makes sense and cannot be explained by science while his eyes never left yours.

 

There was something so enamouring about you, your presence and mind just made him feel so full, as though it was what was meant to happen-the two of you were meant to sit there under small orbs whose shine failed in comparison to your almond brown eyes (his words). He found it annoying at first, the way you just invaded his life, from a simple curious thought of what you were currently doing to thoughts of you being with someone else, that just drove him insane. After all, in his mind, you are the only future he knows of, and any of the other alternatives his stupid friends presented him just sounded fake and pretentious. Like the mere mention of the possibility of not having you in his life just felt so wrong, he would rather just not think about it in fear of speaking it into existence, something he got from you. Now that he thinks about it, he notices some of your little quirks have infected his daily life, like your addiction to buying and selling on Twitter (there was a thrill in fighting for a piece of paper, he admits, although he is still a bit salty about it being another man) or the way you stand whenever you're about to make a point. For a 6'4 ft man, that is jacked up, is deadly and a weapon for mass distruction (also for igniting your libido for some reason). There was never a dull moment with you. His adventure book, which he started the moment you told him of a crazy date idea you wanted to try with him for the first time, is now filling the refillable scrapbook he made (another hobby he got from you). Don't get him wrong alright. He isn't putting you on a pedestal because he knows of every flaw that is within you, but he feels as though even those things that made his friends so alarmed with your "glaring red flags", he feels as though that color just signifies love because even he was not a saint. 

 

He was far from a saint, far from the perfection you thought he was, but he tried his hardest to show you that he could be better because he knew that in love it was important to be able to remain everchanging and ride the waves of challenges that would face you both. He was ready to face it all like an antagonist in a quest for his redemption, but the difference is that you were not salvation. He thought of you simply as his home, one that makes his demons purr in delight to be joined by yours, one that warms his darkest nights, one that causes his hopelessly bottled up rage and sadness to burst into tiny hiccups as he clutched you like a lifeline.In many ways, he can describe you in his life and heart, but he can never fully capture your essence in words, and so as he sat there surrounded by darkness and your scent, he knew he was willing to blind himself, sacrifice his everything, and offer you his all just to always have you by his side.